Hurting? If a few needles can help Hill, they can help me

PHOENIX — The needles are about two inches long. The man is grinning like the Cheshire cat as he pushes them into the muscle surrounding my right shoulder, then sticks them into various points around my ankles and right up the center of my stomach and chest.

There’s a twinkle in his eye as he goes about this devilish business. While I’m lying on a narrow table inside a small, windowless room, I can hear him humming a tune.

First he attaches a spider web of leads to the end of each needle. The wires are running from a battery about the size of a brick. Then he flips on the juice.

“Let me know,” he says in a soft, low voice, “when you can feel the charge.”

Ba-DUM! Ba-DUM! Ba-DUM! Cut to commercial? I feel like Jack Bauer on an episode of 24.

I’m in the offices of Guoliang Cao, L.Ac., Doctor of Chinese Medicine, where in the next room, Suns forward Grant Hill — like me — has his body covered in acupuncture needles as he prepares for his next battle against the Lakers.

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